Goodbye Facebook

I'm making changes in my life to be more present in the moment.

Cable was first, facebook was next.

For my facebook friends that read my blog: no, I didn't block you... :) If you need to reach me, you can through my blog or through email: kim@plakoeis.com or westcoastgirlie@hotmail.com. 

Living (and loving) on One Income

This past year has been the first time in my adult life that I've not brought in an income of some sort. As of last year we are officially a one income family and you know what? It's doable!
When I got denied EI maternity benefits last year just weeks before Sophie's birth, we were in a panic and didn't think we'd survive a few weeks without my income. It really is a shock to the system to go from expecting and having two incomes to just one instantly. No savings to stretch out, no nothing. I was totally one of those people that thought living off of two incomes was a must in our society. I cried when I "had" to return to work after Parker was born, thinking in order for our family to survive Parker must be in daycare and I must work (I was at least fortunate that Parker was able to come to work with me). And when we got that phone call, I cried even more and thought our family was doomed. After all, how does a family of 5 survive on one income? Income coming from a self-employed newish business at that!
We made changes in our spending. We learned as we went along. We made mistakes (many many mistakes) along the way. Heck, we're still learning and making mistakes but we're now confident in our choice for me to stay home with our children until they're older.
So now when I hear other parents complain that they can't possibly survive off one income and how they sob when they drop their babies off at daycare each day (I was there!!) thinking they "have" to work and they don't have a choice, I want to shake them and let them know it's possible. If we can do it, then trust me any family out there can do it too!
The biggest deciding factor for us was when we calculated how much childcare would cost and how much money I'd be bringing in. I think we worked it out to be about $400 per month that working full time would bring in. And that's not counting transportation costs, food for lunches (at home we eat leftovers from the previous night's dinner), work clothes. Financially it just wasn't worth it for us. Was being away from my children for 9 or more hours per day really worth a few hundred dollars?
There's many other changes we made too that I'll post about in upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

A Year in Review

Doesn't it feel like we just started 2010?! This year has flown by, I can't get over it! At the end of each year, I like to to look back at all that I've accomplished and experienced and think about what I'd like to see happen in the new year. I'm not all for resolutions exactly as I feel they just set you up for failure but I think it's important to spend some time reflecting on our past to prepare for our future.
My year in general has been pretty good, or at least that's what I remember most from it. :)

We welcomed Sophie into our lives:

We became a one income family when my EI claim was refused. This was and continues to be such a learning experience. I honestly thougth that I'd have to go back to work when Sophie was only a few weeks old as I couldn't fathom our family living off Dave's barber salary. But you know what? We are and while money is tight, we're getting by and having fun along the way. We still need to seriously tweak our budget so that we aren't just getting by but are still able to put money towards savings and pay off our debt. We're working on it though!

I started offering placenta encapsulation in my area which has been a really positive experience! I really enjoy offering this service to local moms and also enjoy educating people on the healing powers of the placenta. I find it funny when people first hear about it, they're visibly horrified but then I tell explain the benefits and tell my own experience, most people find it interesting.

I started preparing my family's meals from scratch. And even more exciting is that I've learned to replace many store bought overprocessed foods and products with natural homemade alternatives. It's been FUN!

We've spent alot of time exploring nature. I've learned that being outdoors and getting fresh air is better than anything for combatting crankiness. Since winter's arrived, we've been spending less and less time outside which I'd like to change. There's no reason for us not to get outside for even half an hour each day regardless of weather. I know we'll all feel better if we do but sometimes it's hard to get out the door when it's raining hard out.

We started Parker on a gluten free diet which has been really successful. He's been happier and his speech has improved. It's definitely noticeable when he's off a GF diet so we're trying to be more consistent and strict with it.

We built our first ever garden! We grew brocolli, kale, spinach, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, tons of healing herbs, strawberries, etc. So much fun and we learned so much. Can't wait to start an even bigger and better garden this year. :)

 I started to get creative again, which has been so nice! Having two kids under two and a teenager in the house doesn't always leave alot of time for me but I've really come to enjoy creating crafts and art. I'm especially loving needlefelting!

We moved into a house across town which I'm not sure was the best decision. We needed to move as our old place wasn't working for us anymore. It was right behind a train track which when you have babies is not the funnest thing. It's actually kind of a terrifying way to wake up! And also Ally was walking through a not safe neighbourhood in the dark to catch the bus and she'd always be late for school so we needed to be closer to her school. So here we are closer to Ally's school which is great but our landlord is kinda crazy (we're expecting an eviction notice on the 2nd because we're refusing to pay a surprise deposit she's demanded two weeks ago), the neighbours not so neighbourly, it's so expensive and we really do spend most of our time downtown. I'd love to move back downtown or at least to Old City Quarter further away from trains and close to a bus stop for Ally or even better on some property in Lantzville but we'll see, I hate moving and that seems to be a constant in my life.

That's pretty much my year in review! Some things I'd like for next year are to be in a new home with a non-crazy landlord on a great piece of property. I want to spend more time outside, everyday even if just for a quick walk around the block. I'd like to work on my relationship with my husband... after two back to back babies, our focus has not been on each other. We still love each other but we could love each other a little more I think. :)

Hope you all have a great final night in 2010 and I wish you nothing but happiness for 2011!

Long day.

Last Wednesday we had a busy day. It started with having a mini-meeting with the Occupational Therapist that Parker is on the wait list to start seeing. I was unsure how seeing an OT would help us... in my work children who see OTs have much greater needs than my son does so going into the appointment I felt like it was a waste of my time. When our pediatrican wanted us to see OT, I thought it was because he thought Parker was overly cautious and hadn't mastered walking up stairs yet independently at 2. It wasn't a big deal to me and I thought the doctor was making a mountain of a mole hill.
But OT will help us with so much more than Parker's lack of confidence to try new things (which could be the reason he's delayed in speech). We did an unofficial checklist/questionaire about sensory and while she couldn't say for sure after only spending an hour with us, there were some big red flags that lead us to believe that Parker has a hard time with sensory perception. Which isn't a surprise to me at all and it was even a relief that someone else, someone "official" was listening to me and agreeing with me and not telling me my intuition was wrong. We're still on the waitlist but the OT said we're among the top 20 to be seen... so hopefully within the next few months.
Next we had our last day of playgroup for children on the waitlist for speech (or those who are already in speech). I'm sad that it's over because Parker really loves that hour we spend there. After the group was finished, the leader came up to us and commented that it was amazing to see the changes in Parker over the last few months. His speech has gone through another mini-burst and he was singing along (well, not all the words but all the signs and some of the words) to all the songs. I'm really hoping they start up again in January. Not only do I really love the group as does Parker, it'll be nice for Parker to be familiar and comfortable with the building as that's where we'll be for speech and OT.
Later that afternoon we had an appointment with Parker's pediatrician. I really appreciate not being rushed and the doctor taking his time with his patients but the wait to see him is pretty long. Too long for a toddler, a baby and a mama who's been on the go all day. The appointment went well, we talked about his milestones, development and he was weighed (32lbs). There wasn't a whole lot to say as we are still on the waitlists for OT and speech but Parker's general assesment was sent over. Our doctor mentioned that while he doesn't get the autism "vibe" from him, we should keep an eye on that over the next few years. He agrees that Parker does have difficulty with sensory perception and recommended a few books to us. One thing I really liked is when he said that sensory perception isn't something we can change in Parker.. there's no "fixing" him... it's how he's wired. It's us that need to change how we interact with him and help him go through the day.
Anyhoo... it was an emotional day but like I said.. it was a relief to have someone hear me and not shrug off my concerns yet again.
I really look forward to no longer being on a wait list and to having the support our family desperately needs. Our hard days where Parker spends all day screaming or hurting himself affects us all in all parts of our lives. It breaks my heart to see him so upset and I'm often at a loss of how to help him when its been hours of crying. It affects my relationship with my husband and our relationship with him. I love my son to a million bits but sometimes it's sooo hard. Like lately. I get so overwhelmed (as does he) that I don't want to leave the house, it's too much to get us all ready to go out and when we do go out, it's too hard to go out alone with him and Sophie.
Anyways... I'm rambling now. I'm feeling stressed after a week of really rough days.... looking forward to a few good days. The good days always make up for the rought ones a hundred times over. :)

Snow Day!

Here on Vancouver Island we don't see alot of snow so when it does actually snow, the city all but shuts down. Which is both frustrating and kinda nice at the same time.
The last week, we've had many snowy days and Ally missed two days of school even! We spent alot of time playing in the snow, staying in our pjs all day, baking and drinking hot chocolate like it was going out of style.

And now a few days later the snow is mostly melted away, our snowman a small lump on the mostly visible grass which is just in time as we've nearly run out of cocoa! :)

Operation: Organize the Cupboard!

Organization has never been my thing. I'm full of ideas and bursting with creativity but cleaning up afterwards: meh! But I get really frustrated when I can't find what I'm looking for or if I forget a project I was working on because it was buried under piles and piles of crap.

                                                                            See:

So my goal is to have this crafting/misc. cupboard and computer area cleaned and organized. By the end of Saturday. Which is only two days away. And I haven't even started yet. Yikes!

At least Sophie is excited about the project!

 

Then maybe I'll have the motivation to finish the million of projects we've been working on so I can share them all with you!

Sophie is 8 months old!

Sophie turned 8 months this past Wednesday and as always I think to myself how quickly this is all going by. Time flies by quicker these past few years: our lives are fuller and just plain crazier!

At 8 months, Sophie:
~ cruises around furniture
~ climbs onto and into things! This past week, she's climbed into more than one moving box as I was trying to unpack it (yes, we moved this past month!).
~ has mastered the pincer grasp.
~ looks for a toy if she drops it.
~ loves to throw a toy so we can retrieve it for her. Over and over again.
~ has started playing with the volume of her voice. Today she was all about whispering. :)
~ loves to eat. We still only offer her solids as an addition to breastmilk. I feel that breastmilk should be the number #1 source of food for at least the first year but she gets bits of this and that at meal times, mostly to entertain her enough so we can eat our dinner. Her favourites are banana or avacado chunks, peas, and toast. She just started to cry out for food if she sees one of us eating something that she wants.
~ still cosleeps with us all night long. I would like to start sleeping seperate from her for a few hours a night as she is becoming  restless and wakes to the slightest movement. Also, she's becoming an all night nurser. I'm hoping that having her sleep in her own space (a crib or mattress in our room, haven't decided yet), she'll actually get a better night's sleep.

Sophie is 7 months old!

Well, she's 7 months and 3 days old. :) This picture is from a few weeks ago but I just love it, we were at Rathtrevor beach and she was having such a good time!

At 7 months (and 3 days), Sophie:

~ has two bottom teeth. (and she has a bottom and a top tooth juuuuust about to pop through as well)

~ army crawls everywhere. This girl is speedy!

~ has started pulling herself up to standing onto furniture.

~ lifts arms up to when she wants up.

~ has started eating solids. We offered her some pieces of food when she turned 6 months but she wasn't too interested so we held off. ABout two weeks ago she started actually eating what was being offered. No baby food here!

~ loves to sleep with mama. She's been nursing more frequently at night but since we cosleep, I can't tell you how many times actually and I don't feel too affected since her waking up only requires me latching her on before drifting back to sleep. Cosleeping and breastfeeding rocks!

~ is still not interested in napping independantly. Naps are hard around here. Uusally her morning nap is a struggle, she wants to sleep with me but Parker's still up so that doesn't work. Often I'll either wear her, take her out for a walk or drive or if she's really tired she'll fall asleep while I nurse her and I can lay her on the sofa for a short whle. The afternoon naps are much easier as she naps with her brother. Sometimes she'll nap for just 1/2 hour but once in a blue moon she'll nap for two hours.

~ is much more vocal. When she's sad she says "dada" or "mum" over and over again.

~ loves to play. She often growls at me when she's feeling playful. Funny little girl!

The slowness of summer

I've been promising to keep up with my blogging but I've been enjoying the slowness and laziness that comes with Summer. That and it's too darned hot upstairs where our computer is!

Our summer has been filled with many beach visits, meteor watching, phosphorescence, camping, visiting with friends, farmer's markets and gardening.

Plus, we welcomed a new member to our family: Cady! She's a Golden Retriever/Border Collie cross who we adopted from a family a few months ago. She's beautiful and kind but not the greatest listener and tends to get overly excited and barky around dogs she doesn't know. I'm contemplating obedience school as I'm a bit clueless when it comes to training older dogs but I'm having mixed feelings about the requirement to spay and have up to date vaccinations for her.

Oh! And we're gearing up to move.. hopefully! We live downtown which I love and it's convenient for Dave and used to be convenient for Ally but since she switched highschools and our desire to be a bit out of town, we're hoping to move to Lantzville. We found a great home on some property that I adore but am waiting to hear back from the landlord. We're up against another family but DAve spoke with the landlord today and he'd like to meet Dave so it sounds like maybe we have it? Ugh... house hunting is stressful!

Anyways... when life returns to a more normal pace and we're hopefully settled into our new home, I hope to resume more posting. I have TONS of recipes to share including some tinctures, teas, exracts and raw food! So enjoy the rest of your summer and I'll see you all (well, the 7 of you! lol) soon!

Checking in!

I have a bad habit of forgetting what I was planning on blogging about. All week, I've been thinking of great blog posts but as soon as I get to the computer I forget what it was I want to blog about. My mind goes completely blank. Like it's doing right now.
I feel like I've been neglecting my blog and I feel bad. Not that I have very many readers but still.... I like blogging a few times a week, it helps clear the brain a little! ;)
Not much new is going on here...
Ally finished school, she's finished her first year of highschool! We're trying to find summer activities for her but like always we procrastinated on that and it's a little late for most programs. Oops! She'd like to get into dance so I think I found a dance class that's a week long of various different styles of dance. It's nice and close downtown and if she likes a particular style of dance then she can join something in the fall there.
Parker is my wild little man still. He had a hearing test today, not because we're concerned with his hearing but because his speech is behind a bit and that's the first step taken usually. He passed but they'd like to see him again when he's three because although he did great at hearing voice prompts, he had a hard time with the sounds. But she said she's not concerned and is still considered to pass because it's hard to test a 2 year old. So yay! I'm looking forward to having some support from the Infant Development Program at the Child Development Centre and for some speech therapy. I'm just hoping the wait isn't too long.
Sophie is 5 months old, can you believe it?! She can sit unassisted and is trying desperately to move her body but isn't quite there yet. I think she may finally be moving into some sort of daily rythym though. Finally! Her naps are becoming more predictable now that I'm napping her upstairs in our bed and she sleeps better at night too now that she sleeps half the night in our bed. As usual, she's a happy little thing!
Oh! And we got a dog! Her name is Cady and she's a Retriever/Collie mix. We found her on kijiji from a family that owns a horse and goat farm in East Wellington. She's great although you can tell she's a farm dog. She gets very excited when she sees other dogs so hopefully some doggy school will tame her a bit so we can take her to the Farmer's Market and the dog park.
I wanted to upload some pictures but of course we're yet again having computer issues! I bought a new printer a few weeks ago and pretty much since then our USB ports have crapped out on us. So hopefully we'll get that fixed soon, I hate not being able to upload pics or update my iTouch!
Anyhoo... that's the update from around here!
I'm working on a post on Canadian Immunizations that I've been meaing to do for months now. I'm finding that while I still know that I don't want to immunize my kids I do need reminding as to why I'm choosing not to.

100 Things About Me

1) I'm 32 years old.
2) I have 3 children: a teenager, a toddler and a new baby.
3) I have been married for 2.5 years.
4) I met Dave on an online dating site just over 4 years ago.
5) I had my oldest daughter a few weeks before my 18th birthday.
6) The man I had my oldest with has not called her in almost 4 years, including birthdays or Chrismtas'.
7) I was raised by a single father and nannies.
8) I have two younger brothers.
9) My mother left when I was 5 (brothers were 4 and 8 months)
10) I don't talk to any of my family anymore.
11) I grew up in and around Winnipeg.
12) I moved to Vancouver Island when I was turning 15.
13) While I strongly support homebirth, I've never had one myself.
14) I was not able to find a midwife who would attend a homebirth for me.
15) I have hemorrhaged each time I gave birth.
16) If I have another child, I will have a homebirth regardless of if I find a midwife who will attend it or not.
17) My oldest attends public school and I think that's my biggest parenting regret.
18) I crave simplicity.
19) Chaos and "stuff" makes me feel boxed in and crazy.
20) I love to be creative.
21) I dream of owning property.
22) I want to build my own cob house.
23) I am currently living in a city that I said I would never live in.
24) While I still don't like the city and don't want to live in it forever, I'd be very happy to live just outside of it. Somewhere between Ladysmith and Nanoose please. :)
25) When Ally was 7, we drove through Canada and the US to live for a bit in Mexico.
26) I taught all core classes for grade 1 and 2 in english.
27) I was in way over my head as I have no idea how to teach!
28) I have two cats: Chancho and Stellar.
29) It's horribly mean but I hate Stellar and am looking forward to when he passes.
30) I have crooked pinky fingers.
31) So does Sophie.
32) I am married to my best friend.
33) I love being married.
34) I sometimes miss my old life though: hiking, camping, kayaking and travelling.
35) I'm working hard at reuniting the old me with the new me.
36) I have so many dreams and ideas but am too lazy to see them to fruition.
37) My life has been hugely impacted by people I've never met.
38) During my pregnancy with Sophie, I attended 2 funerals and should have attended one more. THeir ages were 6 weeks, 7 weeks and 3 years.
39) I think about those three little girls every single day even though I hadn't even met one of them.
40) I stopped vaccinating my children when Parker started having seizures hours after his 2 month shots.
41) I need to remind myself why I'm not vaccinating but don't have the time to re-research it all again.
42) I am a chocoholic.
43) I'm learning how to garden.
44) In my 32 years, I haven't had one decent hair cut. I'm plagued with horrid haircuts!
45) I'd like to do my wedding all over again.
46) I didn't enjoy my wedding at all.
47) My husband and I have yet to go on a "honeymoon".
48) I drive a mini-van even though I always said I never would.
49) I LOVE my mini-van!
50) I hate wearing socks.
51) My favourite sandwhich is a tomatoe, cucumber and cheese toasted sandwhich.
52) My house is never clean.
53) I really hate that i haven't found a cloth diaper solution for night time.
54) I think disposable diapers are dangerous and shouldn't be used.
55) I get way too stressed about little things.
56) I don't share alot of the same values as most of the people in my life.
57) It's hard to find friends who share the same values as I do.
58) I often don't fit in. Not mainstream enough, not crunchy enough, etc.
59) I choose not to vaccinate my children.
60) I enjoy menu planning.
61) I love saving my family money.
62) I want to learn to play guitar.
63) I hate Walmart.
64) But I shop there once or twice a month. :(
65) I'd like to stop that but my husband is a Walmart addict.
66) I love watching documentaries.
67) I dislike watching tv.
68) Since getting an iTouch, I've been spending waaaay too much time online.
69) We no longer own a crib. (well, technically we do as it hasn't made it to the recycling centre yet but it hasn't been used in forever and I can't see why we'd use one ever again)
70) I have been a licenced early childhood educator for almost 10 years.
71) The thought of returning to work and having my kids in childcare makes me sick to my stomach.
72) While I'd love to open up a nature based childcare centre, I think I'm going to put that on hold for a long while.
73) Instead, I'll help support my family by continuing to encapsulate placenta for new moms.
74) It angers me when people think you need to socialize babies and toddlers.
75) It angers me even more when those parents put their child into daycare not because they require childcare as they're working but because they feel the child needs to be around other babies.
76) I think parents who follow Babywise should be charged with child abuse.
77) I am so tired of hearing stories about how so many women claim they can't breastfeeding. It's possible that due to medical reasons a mother is unable but it's quite rare.
78) I think formula should be available by prescription only.
79) I'd have no problems nursing a child that wasn't mine.
80) I often wonder what made unnatural parenting the norm.
81) I love to daydream.
82) I love co-sleeping.
83) I don't so much like being headbutted in the middle of the night by my toddler.
84) I'd prefer it if my bed wasn't crammed with a toddler or baby the entire night.
85) I really should be organizing my sewing area right now.
86) But I'm not going to.
87) Instead I'm going to take a short nap with the little ones.
88) I have two tattoos.
89) I can't stand to have long nails, I always clip them short.
90) I had PPD after the birth of my son.
91) I fully believe that Sophie's placenta prevented PPD this time around.
92) I enjoy reading cookbooks.
93) I spend most of my online time reading blogs.
94) I read mostly craft, natural family, waldorf and local blogs.
95) I think I have a cloth diaper addiction.
96) Same with a baby carrier addiction.
97) I'd like to live abroad again with my family.
98) I want to start sewing mine and my children's clothes.
99) I think my toddler is the funniest person ever.
100) Thinking of 100 things about myself was not easy at all.

Sharing My Life's Details

Last night while I lay in bed with Sophie who was refusing to sleep unless she was attached to my breast, I read through my entire blog list on my iTouch (did I mention how much I love my iTouch?). I mean what else was I to do while Sophie nursed in her sleep and I was stuck to the bed at 8:30pm? I came across one blog post entitled 100 Things About Me and it was a simple post listing ...well, I think you can figure that out! lol

Anyways, I've been struggling with blogging lately. I've been posting lots of recipes, but I don't want this to be a cooking blog. I created this blog so I'd have something to look back on years from now or something my kids and I could reflect back on. And I wanted to share my life (as boring as it is much of the time!) with others who share my same values and such. But life has been complicated and I haven't felt like sharing much of it lately. I'd like to get back into that. Yes, life is crazy and I'm struggling with it right now but you know what? It is what it is and I want to remember all of this in the years to come: the good, the bad and the ugly! I don't post much about Ally, my oldest, and I know some of you wonder about that (same with on facebook) but she's at a tender age where she's not comfortable about me blogging or talking about her so I respect that. Of course, I get in the occasional post when it's her birthday or if I have a great pic of her!
So I hope to post more about my personal life and all that comes with it. And I'll start that with a 100 Things About Me post next!